I call it VIEWS FROM A CHAIR as I do a lot of sitting, mainly because I am confined to a wheelchair, so life does take on a different view. Fortunately I have my computer, the Internet, an extensive music library, a fully functioning brain, and many friends, so life isn't too bad. One of my passions is the English language. Many examples of its eccentricities will be found in this Blog. My view is also across the sunny Mediterranean Sea to the African coastline. Sorry UK. You cannot compete.
Sven meets Olly. "Where you been Olly?"
"Tomorrow Lana's birthday. I say I buy present. She say she want something with lots ov diamonds. I go to jewelry shop but things wiv lots ov diamonds cost much money.
Then I have idea, and I go to toy shop."
"So what you get at toy shop wiv lots ov diamonds?"
"A deck of cards!"
Posted by
Zizzey
at
00:29
Labels: Sven and Olly
I suppose I had better put one of these in, just in case someone gets the hump about something.
Few animals were injured in the making of this site. Avoid where prohibited. Do not hold near open flame. If you are too young to be reading this - PISS OFF. Throw caution to the lions. In the event of fire, smash glass. Close cover before striking. Not for internal use. If swallowed induce vomiting. Dry clean only, do not wash. Use in well ventilated area. Do not inhale. Keep away from children. Keep away from people with a nervous disposition. Dolphin free. Adults only. Shake well before using. Avoid known aliens. Best before May 3024. Do not enter crime scene. Cook until tender, serve hot or cold. Do not freeze. Keep out of direct sunlight. Always use gloves when handling. No MSG. Caffeine free. Peel slowly. Do not over inflate. Warning: may be dangerous if swallowed by small children. 2nd warning: swallowing small children may also be dangerous. Do not puncture. Use only soft cloth, wipe gently. Flush twice. Cold wash only. F.D.A. approved. Do not spill. Keep away from eyes. Boil in the bag. Do not overtighten. Do not recycle. Rinse thoroughly. Discard after use. Do not open before Xmas. If rash persists call a doctor. Wipe your feet before you come in. Use with caution. Keep cool. Mind the step. Ear defenders MUST be worn. Trespassers will be shot. Nil by Mouth. Radar traps operate in this area. Bill stickers will be prosecuted. They is always after that Bill Stickers bloke. Warranty expires on payment of invoice. If I have nicked your work, consider yourself honoured that I have chosen yours to use or plagiarise instead of the other far more crappy stuff. There is also no absolute guarantee that anything you see or read on this site is actual or factual. We are all here, in one capacity or another, for amusement. Well that seems to 'ave bleedin' covered it!
No comments:
Post a Comment