Bloody IST

To recap what this is all about, I was challenged by Amber to define IST. She expected a definition, but I went for the more loose usage as being defined, or shown. She has now read it and her retort was 'pure poetry'. I have to admit it is quite inventive.
Well I 'as ta say, I duzn't understan' it. It don't make sense.
It isn't written to make actual sense Clive, although it has to have some sort of flow. Surely you have heard of Edward Lear, perhaps the most well-known exponent of nonsense writing.
Naw.
Oh well, never mind. I'll just leave it for the readers to formulate their own opinions.

IST defined.

A linguistic ventriloquist christened Elvis Tolstoy - he a Pakistani spiritualist and diarist who wrote Existence on the Piste insisted he enlist the assistance of Maori stagehand, Christopher T. Semisteen. Chris T. was a disturbed taxidermist, but formerly a Methodist zucchini stacker in Istanbul, and sophisticated magistrate in Fiji, Stockholm and Bristol, 'Whistling' Chris T. now is trading as an unregistered tattooist and distinguished distributor of existentialist logistics.

In the Paris Two iis (that is to say - 2IIs) Teahouse they met an egotistical Bolshevist and antihistamine biochemist Mavis Tarragon (Mavi) and her sinister Calvinist barrister, Gemini Stoutheart. Wearing his tsunami stetson. he drove a hedonist, pre-existant Hyundi station wagon and characteristically carried a Scotch-mist registered pistol in his trouser waistband.

Mavi, stepsister to both Wallis 'Ted is Tops' Poltergeist, who, reputedly, is the Memphis terrorist, and, the
undstiinguished Israeli statistician, Rabbi Stool-Piston chose the Ben Nevis tapa selection, with mistletoe pistils
followed by simplistic pastrami strudel and cannabis tart.

Not being a conformist lover of ravioli, Stoutheart, (who, militaristically is tight-fisted) went for specialist haggis
triangles with non-sexist tandoori straws. Conscious of his thick waistline, to follow he, (mistakenly) chose Christmas thistle and piccalilli stroganoff.

Off the wine list he blacklisted the piece de resistance - the Chablis (twenty euros a bottle) insisting on a misty ballistic, almost masochistic Bangladeshi Stalactite Beaujolais (ten euros a time).

Mavi's thin Basenji, Stephen desisted from his testicle moistening, becoming unable to resist the prehistoric fungi
stir-fried-in-martini starter, followed by chilli stalks and spaghetti stew with pistachio chapattis. Tasty! "So, Sadistic Rapist and Kuwaiti Stud, Elvis, tell us about the redistribution of royalist wisteria in Afghanistan," said
Mavis, temptingly.

His tremor resistance almost in metamorphosis took over the unresisting conversationalist, "Ah that indistinct
isthmus. Aristocratic territory indeed," Elvis thundered. "Where philistine shop assistants persist with their touristy
holistic to-do lists. Materialistic traditionalists all, resistant to tennis tournaments in Nairobi, Strasbourg and Pakistan. I struggle to listen to their realist nonexistent and unregistered NAAFI staircase surrealist hoi polloi stage-crafting.

Time was Hawaii stood where irresistible Tripoli stands today, listing like a multi-storey protagonist with trellis tentacles. Such is the Nazi standpoint."

Chris tactlessly mistook Mavis' tartan Gladioli stretch marks for antistatic aspidistra blisters. "You're a Trappist rip-off artiste," he screamed, his tonsillitis throat registering unmistakable wistful palais tantrums.

"You say this to me you unchristian assistant Trotskyist, with your stylistic Swahili street irresistibility and lapis lazuli studded waistcoat. In the mists of time, when you are compos mentis, try registering with a roistering, liberalist whist-playing sisterhood."

"'Tis tempting co-existence to be sure. That is to say, with persistence, I sternly précis this terrible prognosis. Time was, a surrealist thesis, taut with extremist inconsistencies would outdistance even the purist listener.

With the portcullis torn asunder, salamis thrown and pristine okapi stumbling artistically, the anarchists mistreat
semi-finalists for being fascist nudists, ministering to a Buddhist blacklist, while Mississippi strawberry pickers untwist typists' wristwatches and mistrusted sushi stagnates ritualistically.

"Sophisticated Elvis, truly you administrate a fundamentalist thesis to be sure, foisting a tangled vista of transistorised chemistry and subsisting a logistic patois tongue, vis-à-vis Tunis turns a whistle-stop registry," said Mavi strenuously. "You are a fleur-de-lis tending, sentimentalist. Ali Stromboli the New Delhi strangler could be undisturbed less.

Maybe a praying mantis troubled by halitosis terminally twists this third Miami stripper's vital statistics, but hey! hoist the bourgeois tadpole in crisis theatrically.

Tomorrow we heist the gist of ist. Insistence that ist does not exist assumes it an ex ist.