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FIRE CAT
I call it VIEWS FROM A CHAIR as I do a lot of sitting, mainly because I am confined to a wheelchair, so life does take on a different view. Fortunately I have my computer, the Internet, an extensive music library, a fully functioning brain, and many friends, so life isn't too bad. One of my passions is the English language. Many examples of its eccentricities will be found in this Blog. My view is also across the sunny Mediterranean Sea to the African coastline. Sorry UK. You cannot compete.
FIRSTLY THREE WORDS FROM OUR SPONSOR, WHICH IS ME ANYWAY, BUT GETS ME A BIT OF FREE ADVERTISING.
Blog Beginnings
It is approaching the end of 2006. For me the year started out with high hopes, but, one by one these have all be dashed, so a rethink about my life is necessary. Exactly in which direction I shall move is not yet determined. I will have to wait and see what evolves. But as all goals of this year have gone serious off target (mainly because people kept moving the bloody goal posts), whatever I do is unlikely to turn out worse than the experiences of the past 12 months.
I shall not dwell upon the events of this year, but may refer to them from time to time to fill in the history of ongoing situations.
Having finally got around to getting this blog under way, I now have the medium to share my thoughts and frustrations, as well as some of the things that I find informative, interesting or amusing...or whatever.
Please enjoy my VIEWS FROM A CHAIR. It is themeless - a simple gallimaufry of things I wish to share. If you feel like contributing something please do so. zizzeymeister@gmail.com This site is also fully open for viewers to copy any content they wish to use for their own purposes. That is what the Internet is for - sharing.
FIRE CAT
DISCLAIMER
I suppose I had better put one of these in, just in case someone gets the hump about something.
Few animals were injured in the making of this site. Avoid where prohibited. Do not hold near open flame. If you are too young to be reading this - PISS OFF. Throw caution to the lions. In the event of fire, smash glass. Close cover before striking. Not for internal use. If swallowed induce vomiting. Dry clean only, do not wash. Use in well ventilated area. Do not inhale. Keep away from children. Keep away from people with a nervous disposition. Dolphin free. Adults only. Shake well before using. Avoid known aliens. Best before May 3024. Do not enter crime scene. Cook until tender, serve hot or cold. Do not freeze. Keep out of direct sunlight. Always use gloves when handling. No MSG. Caffeine free. Peel slowly. Do not over inflate. Warning: may be dangerous if swallowed by small children. 2nd warning: swallowing small children may also be dangerous. Do not puncture. Use only soft cloth, wipe gently. Flush twice. Cold wash only. F.D.A. approved. Do not spill. Keep away from eyes. Boil in the bag. Do not overtighten. Do not recycle. Rinse thoroughly. Discard after use. Do not open before Xmas. If rash persists call a doctor. Wipe your feet before you come in. Use with caution. Keep cool. Mind the step. Ear defenders MUST be worn. Trespassers will be shot. Nil by Mouth. Radar traps operate in this area. Bill stickers will be prosecuted. They is always after that Bill Stickers bloke. Warranty expires on payment of invoice. If I have nicked your work, consider yourself honoured that I have chosen yours to use or plagiarise instead of the other far more crappy stuff. There is also no absolute guarantee that anything you see or read on this site is actual or factual. We are all here, in one capacity or another, for amusement. Well that seems to 'ave bleedin' covered it!
Before I go any further, this is a Clive warning.
You may have noted the italicised writing in blue. This is Clive-speak. That's me. He is an irritating diminutive troll-resembling creature who inhabits a kitchen cupboard. I 'as it done out real nice. I used to 'ave the one next to the dishwasher, but that was bloody noisy an' a bit cramped.
He is uncouth, rude, rarely bathes and is completely uncontrollable. The only reason I tolerate him is because...and it pains me to say this...he is my alter ego. Ol' Zizz is me mate really. And, for reasons that escape me, he is loved by the ladies. I 'as a big one...followin' that is. He even receives more email than I do. That's 'cause I puts meself about a bit more than you does. If yer wants to write to me, 'specially the girlies, me e-mail is mynameisclive@gmail.com
He will appear at odd times to interject his comment or three, so be prepared. Well, I 'as relevant fings to say. A diff'rent viewpoint so to speak. I likes to give people the benefit ov me wisdom an' years ov experience.
So, readers, you are warned.
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