Catch-up time

You ain't posted nuffink the last few days Zizz.
This is very true Clive. Actually I have been extremely busy. New lodgers moving in, Couch Surfers coming and going, the preparations for the curryfest next week, and, my brother arriving today on a four-day visit.
Wot's all this Ruby malarkey then?
I have a C.S. chap in Italy coming to stay for a few days who wants to cook an Indian banquet for me and friends.
Gor, am I invi'ed?
Only if you behave yourself. I remember the last barbecue. Two glasses of Strongbow and you were making a real pest of yourself.
I fink sumwun slipped me a Micky.
Hardly likely. You are simply incapable of remaining unaffected by alcohol. You have a low tolerance level. It will be dandelion and burdock for you in future. I do not want a repeat performance of of your lewd antics. You had one of the girls in tears.
I 'ad 'er larfin so 'ard, that's why.
It did not appear that way to me.
That's cos you wuz too busy tryin' to pull the tart wiv the big bristols.
That's as maybe. Anyway, did you want something specific.
Yeah. I 'as a joke fer yer.
Go on then. I doubt I will get any peace until you tell me.
Well, see, ev'ry mornin', Bill Clinton takes a jog near 'is 'ome, an' on each run, he 'appens to jog past a prozz standin' on the same street corner, day afta day.
"Fifty dollars!" she would shout from the curb.
"Naw five dollars" 'e'd fire back.
This ritual 'tween the ex-prez an' the 'ooker goes on fer sev'ral days. He'd run by. She'd 'oller, "Fifty dollars" 'E'd yell back, "Five dollars!"
One day, 'is missus, 'Illary decides she wants ta go wiv 'im on 'is jog. As they is nearin' the infamus corner, Bill sudde'ly realises the ol' brass wud bark 'er offer fer all ta 'ear (includin' 'Ills) an' 'e wud 'ave ta come up wiv a gud explanashun. As they jog up ta the corna sure enuff there she wuz, so Bill tries to evade 'er eyes as they cruises past.
She sez nuffin, an' 'e finks 'e 'as got away wiv it until she yells out, "See wot yer gets fer five bucks"
I fort that wuz qwite funny.
Marginally more amusing than your normal jokes I have to admit.
So 'as yer got summink gud ta show us before we packs it in fer the nite?
OK. Here's something clever. Whoever thought this one up was quite inventive.
Mirror imagery.That's pretty gud Zizz. I 'as wun fer you. X-Man .
See ya Zizz, I is goin' to me cupboard now. I 'as a mucky movie ta watch. Nite.
Goodnight Clive.