Dog Fight

The Americans and Russians, at the height of the arms race, realized if they continued in this hostile manner, they would blow up the world. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog, and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the largest and strongest puppy from each litter, removed his siblings which gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. I was a complete beast; its cage bars were an 1" thick; nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American Dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite its opponent's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and killed the Russian dog in one bite. After a few chomps, there was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.

The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."

"That's what we expected", an American replied. "So we had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an crocodile look like a Dachshund."

This picture has nothing to do the preceding whimsy, but seemed an appropriate place to put it in. I think I will name it Lacoste Extreme Sleeping Bag, and you can interpret that as you wish.

I'm quite a fan of 'body art'. Here's another, entitled: The Most Popular Guy in the Prison.

If you would like to see more, let me know.