Let's Do a Bit of Stretching

Home Stretch











Red Neck Stretch











Lada Stretch








Hoped For Stretch













Mishap Stretch








A Texas Stretch











Fer gawd's sake Zizz, wot is this?

Well. She is being stretched.

Yeah I know Mate, but it's a bit outta place amongst the others.

Not really, there is a horse.

I ain't gonna argue wiv you but I fink that is takin' fings too far.

It is an image that will appeal to the BDSM subculture enthusiasts, of which I can tell you, there are plenty. I am starting a new religion.

Why should you change to BooDiSM?

Simple. BooDiSM offers whatever the advantages are of other religions, but eliminates all the hypocrisy. For example, you get someone tangible to worship. Master Boo. A guy to look up to. He works out, smells good and is a definite hit with the ladies.

Compare with some emaciated geyser who can't afford a razor or a decent pair of sandals. Or some aged who has never had sex, (allegedly), but says you have to whip it out just when you get to the short strokes. What sort of advice is that?

And of course you will not be confronted by some bloke in a dress, (unless you attend the Thursday evening cross-dressers' meeting. This week Jeremy will be wearing the latest off the shoulder creations from Top Shop……but that's another story.)

We won't take your hard-earned cash and spend it on expensive buildings, lavishly ordained with precious metals and stained glass, where you can give praise to some virtual entity. With BooDiSM you get 21st century reality. For starters we don't want your money. We will make shed-loads through our web-shop, where you will be able buy quality products at discount prices. BooDiSM WILL SAVE YOU MONEY.

Our meetings will be held in down to earth, dungeonesque venues, captively furnished, where you will receive personal hands-on attention. The experience will be so uplifting; you will want to hang around forever. And if you are a newcomer, don't worry; you will quickly be shown the ropes.

And the music? None of this mass karaoke stuff. With BooDiSM you get to play the organ yourself. Get really involved. (By the way, check out our latest CD - a compilation of greatest hits, including classics like I Know the Ropes by The Boy Scout Trio, and the unforgettable Can I Hang Around with You by Cecil and the The Chain Gang.)

Maybe the guys reading are thinking, "All this is for the girlies. What about us?" Well, you are not forgotten boys. Every month we will have special services performed by Mistress Boodicea. She can whip up a congregation to a fever pitch like no other. If you want to give praise, she will definitely have you on your knees.

WE ARE NOT PREJUDICED. All the other religions have it in for somebody or other. Not BooDiSM. We welcome everybody. Well, maybe not quite everybody. Those bloody kiddie-fiddlers can fuck right off, excuse my French.