Old Sods Rest Home

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was more than one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her, and some of actually joined in. One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a licence for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag again, pulled out a drinks coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am." As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked. "Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that breathalyser test again?"

Of course, wheelchairs are something I know about, and mine has been deteriorating ...on its last wheels ... You could say that Clive I jus' did ...for a while. The spokes started breaking up a couple of days ago, so yesterday I did a rebuild job using another old chair for parts. Now back up to full power again, although the steering pulls a bit to the left, and I think the wheels need balancing - I get a bit of a speed wobble around 4kph.

This is a lean mean racing machine. Think I will put in for one of these on my birthday wish list.