The Beckham Interview

Many people have rightly praised David Beckham for speaking Spanish at a press conference in Madrid and Telegraph reporter Oliver Pritchett secured an exclusive interview with the England football captain so he can once again demonstrate his mastery of the language. This is a transcript of the conversation.

A very good morning to you, Mr Beckham. It is a great honour to meet you
Buenas armadas

Is it true you have had injury worries in the recent past?
Rioja! En la gamba con Real Madrid contro Athletico Acietunas yo retheived un tapas en los calamares. Muy malo. You tumbla on la gracias en absolute agonistes e yellete "Ajillo! Ajillo! Mi pobre calamares."

Let us hope you have now returned to full fitness.
Jamon. Es un poco major ahora pero muchos ouchos en las iglesias a las twingas in pesetas

I suppose there must be things you miss about England.
Si, si. Especialmente los tablojos con todos la fabricacion a misinformacion e intruthion. Los pescados tablojos escribe totale e absolute boquerones sobre me, siempre kissentelas in noches club shenaniganas e muchos flusi scandalas. Es dificil por me e por Victoria. E no me sentimento de Sir Alex Ferguson, el supreme de Manchester United. Esno "Hasta la vista, Sir Alex" por me.

Does Victoria enjoy life in Spain?
Oh Cervantes. Victoria ecstatica con todas las butikas de moda e todos los femomenale top couturios such as Albondigas, Torremolinos e Manchego. Ella es chronica shopaholica. Ella goes absolutamente lomo. Ella says Madrid es el bee's chorizo.

Remind me, what was the name of the group she used to sing with?
Las Chicas Picante. E ella es Posh Picante.

And how are the two boys getting on?
Totalmente ensalada, totalmente jamon. Brooklyn e il piquillo Romero son feliz como dos cervezas in la plaza de toros. Bebe Romero gets muchas pampas de las Madrilenas.

What cars are you driving at the moment?
Solamente dos Porschos, un Lotus e un estupendo Tortilla Flamenco XK996.

The Tortilla Flamenco is a pretty pricey set of wheels, isn't it?
Admittedalmente, pero a Rael Madrid yo retheive muchos paella – oodles de euros, grande patatas. Yo soy rolling in dosh con muchos sponsorship delos e endorsamentes e un bonita arranjament con Vodafona. Es euros por vieja ropa.

Do you find the Spanish tattoo artists satisfactory?
Yo have un fantastico tattuisto appelido Velazquez. El a executo muchos tattootos por me. Ayer Velazquez a desinata Don Quixote on mi plancha, Sancho Panza on mi pelota e un windimillo on mi buttokos. Muy bonito.

Are there any decent hairdressers?
There is un genio hair stylisto appelido Francisco Goya Manana yo will have un pigtelo com un matador e perhapas una bonita capa de matador e una espada de matador – e un costuma de matador por Victoria.

Can England football ever return to the glory days of 1966 when we beat the Germans in the final and won the World Cup?
It was fantastico in 1966 when il equipo ingles was vittorios over los Jerez con Franz Beckenbauer. They were the glory dias con Geoff Hurst, Roberto Charlton, Martinez Peters e Nobbios Stiles.
Pari mi, es possible por Inglaterra to triunfo again con el brilliante Miguel Owen e el splendido Don Sven-Goran Eriksson. Yo esperar.
Para mi, yo intendo seriosamente tambien not botar la penulta high in el cielo abova il gol. Con esperanza.

Mr Beckham, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me today and may I wish you all the best for future matches and tattoos?
Muchas gracias.

Goodbye
Serrano.